Health Update #3
Thank you to all for your prayers, cards, texts, calls, gifts, and ways you have served my family over the past several weeks, my family is truly blessed!
I had my first chemo treatment at John Hopkins on Friday, July 24th. It was a full day of bloodwork, orientation to chemo treatments, and the infusion. It was located at the John Hopkins Skip Virage Outpatient Cancer Building in Baltimore. The facility, staff, and nurses were terrific; it was especially nice that I had a private room for the chemotherapy. The only thing that would have made it better was to have any of the three empty chairs in my room filled with a family member or friend, but Covid continues to complicate the situation, for me and for others dealing with health issues. I am fortunate, still strong and active, but my heart hurt for others receiving chemo who were older, feeble, and weak; I so wish they could have someone with them for physical and emotional support.
The three days following chemotherapy were as expected. I was tired and wore out very quickly but was not dealing with significant sickness and nausea. On Tuesday, unfortunately I started to have a temperature and I lost my appetite. My fever rose throughout the day that by the evening it was time to consult my oncologist; she recommended me coming to the ER and being seen by Hopkins. Upon arriving, the ER staff took good care of me as a cancer patient, whisking me away to a private room so not to be exposed to those who were sick in the waiting room. After my Covid test was negative, the staff got me up to my room around midnight and was taking good care of me. Over the next couple of days, they treated me with IV fluids and antibiotics. It was good that I went in when I did as bacteria was found in my blood, but we had caught it early before the septicemia strengthened. They believe that the infection was liver cholangitis (infection in the bile duct system), which is a complication of Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis. The cancer is also as a result of my PSC disease, and so it is all connected. By Thursday, I no longer had an infection and my appetite and energy was returning. I was ready to go home on oral antibiotics. The past couple of days have been good, gaining strength that was sapped through the infection, and feeling well enough to get caught up on church emails, and spend quality time with the family.
My future chemotherapy schedule was slightly impacted by my infection. As a result of my cholangitis infection, Hopkins wants to do a procedure called ERCP. I have had several ERCPs over the past several years, with my last one being in February of this year. I am thankful for this procedure which allows a scope to flush out and open up the biliary tract of my liver, it is not a permanent fix, but it allows my doctor to access my disease. This procedure will be on Wednesday, August 5th. I was scheduled to have chemotherapy on this Monday, but my oncologist decided to delay it by a week for recovery and because of the ERCP. My second dose of chemotherapy will now be Monday, August 10th.
If you feel lead to pray for me, my prayer requests are for chemo to continue and be effective, for my infections to be controlled, and for my weight to stay up. Thank you!
Please allow me also for a moment to share from time to time the status of my heart. Proverbs 4:23 encourages us to “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life”. As one of my primary responsibilities at Mountain View is care and counseling, I often will share this verse to someone seeking counsel, because out of our heart flows our response to life. In our heart is seated our thoughts, affections, emotions, and will. As I go through this cancer (especially this past infection), I must be honest and share that there are times that my thoughts and reactions are not good. My heart will flee to fear and self-pity in an instant. My emotions are especially vulnerable when I consider my family; I hate that they have to watch me struggle with cancer, and the potential ramifications of this terrible cancer. That fear and self-pity will have my heart respond in a variety of emotions such as sorrow, anger and frustration. So as I guard my heart, I don’t just do so for the value of self-happiness (because that too is so fickle), but I do so because my Lord commands it (Proverbs 4:23 is a command) and He is honored when I rightly elevate Jesus, His Grace, and His promises that are found in scripture.
Music has been a source of encouragement and help during this time. I never considered myself a lover of the hymns, especially early in my pastoral career, but over the past several years I have grown to greatly appreciate the theology which permeates into my heart and provides comfort and reminders of God’s character and promises. Ten years ago, when I was a pastor at Church of the Living Christ in PA, our youth group was at Refreshing Mountain Camp and our teens were introduced to the old hymn, which was written by the reformer Martin Luther, called “From the depths of Woe”. It is a hymn from Psalm 130. The song was a hit with the teens. While the lyrics are exceptional, it is also accompanied as well by a beautiful melody. The teen girls especially loved the echo.
There are two truths that impact me greatly from this hymn and psalm. The first verse says, “From the depths of woe I raise to Thee the voice of lamentation; Lord, turn a gracious ear to me and hear my supplication”. I love that I have a Lord that will hear my “depths of woe” and my “lamentations”. He listens, He cares, and He turns a GRACIOUS ear to me! What a promise to anchor my heart in! Secondly, the third verse says, “Therefore my trust is in the Lord, and not in mine own merit; On Him my soul shall rest, His word upholds my fainting spirit; His promised mercy is my fort, My comfort and my sweet support”. I must guard my heart; as a ship can easily slip off the ropes of the pier and begin to drift into the raging ocean; I must keep my heart anchored to the Lord! As I tell counselees often, our heart should be fixed in three important truths: God loves me, I am His child, and He is all I need. God loves me therefore my VALUE is found in Him, not me. I am His child; therefore, my IDENTITY is in Him. And finally, He is all I need which speaks to my CONTENTMENT being found in Him and not in this world.
As you consider the words of this Hymn, I hope they are an encouragement to you as they are to me. It is a sweet reminder of the truths of God’s Word and is like cold soothing water to a painful burn. I hope my words, thoughts, and vulnerability can help you as you deal with the difficulties and sufferings in this world.
From the depths of woe I raise to Thee
The voice of lamentation;
Lord, turn a gracious ear to me
And hear my supplication;
If Thou iniquities dost mark,
Our secret sins and misdeeds dark,
O who shall stand before Thee?
To wash away the crimson stain,
Grace, grace alone availeth;
Our works, alas! Are all in vain;
In much the best life faileth;
No man can glory in Thy sight,
All must alike confess Thy might,
And live alone by mercy
Therefore my trust is in the Lord,
And not in mine own merit;
On Him my soul shall rest, His word
Upholds my fainting spirit;
His promised mercy is my fort,
My comfort and my sweet support;
I wait for it with patience
What though I wait the live-long night,
And til the dawn appeareth,
My heart still trusteth in His might;
It doubteth not nor feareth;
Do thus, O ye of Israels seed,
Ye of the Spirit born indeed;
And wait til God appeareth
Though great our sins and sore our woes
His grace much more aboundeth;
His helping love no limit knows,
Our upmost need it soundeth.
Our Shepherd good and true is He,
Who will at last His Israel free
From all their sin and sorrow